Peanut on a Railroad Track

Oh, a peanut sittin' on a railroad track, its heart was all a-flutter. Along came the choo choo train TOOT TOOT! Peanut butter.

A cow walked on the railroad track, the train was coming fast. The train got off the railroad track to let the cow go past!

A hen and a chicken went for a walk just to stretch their legs A motorcar came round the bend TOOT TOOT! Ham and eggs

Oh! the night was dark and dreary the air was full of sleet The old man stood out in the storm his shoes were full of feet

A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone. We think that he should tend the sick and leave the well alone.

A farmer slipped on the old barn roof when rotten boards gave way, And as he fell, he shrugged and said, "It's time to hit the hay."

Humpty Dumpty fell right down and landed on his head, So, all the horses and the men had scrambled eggs and bread.

A skinny lady took a bath, without telling a soul, And when she pulled out the plug, she went right down the hole.

Mosquito he fly high, mosquito he fly low, Old man mosquito he lit on me, he ain't a-gonna fly no more.

I went to my girlfriend, a pleasure I was seeking, I missed her lips and kissed her nose, and the gosh darn thing was leaking.

A golf ball sailin' thru the air whizzed by a man a hummin' He heard a caddy holler, "Fore!" an' he thought three more were comin'

When boating, never quarrel for you'll find, without a doubt A boat is not the proper place to have a falling out

"The hot chocolate is exhausted, Sir" the diner was advised Says he, "It's been so weak of late I'm really not surprised"

Said baby tern to mother tern "Can I have a brother" "Yes" said mom to baby tern "One good tern deserves another"

There's a gal up in the hills she's awfully shy and meek She undresses in the dark because the mountains peak