Do your ears hang low

Do your ears hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw them o'er your shoulder
Like a Continental Soldier?
Do your ears hang low?

Do your ears hang high?
Do they reach up to the sky?
Do they wrinkle when they're wet?
Do they straighten when they're dry?
Can you wave them at your neighbor
With an element of flavor?
Do your ears hang high?

Do your ears hang wide?
Do they flap from side to side?
Do they wave in the breeze
From the slightest little sneeze?
Can you soar above the nation
With a feeling of elevation?
Do your ears hang wide?

Do your ears fall off
When you sneeze or when you cough?
Do they wind up in the trough?
When you’re slopping up the hogs,
Can you stick them in your pocket
Just like Davy Crocket?
Do your ears fall off?

Do your ears flip-flop?
Can you use them for a mop?
Are they stringy at the bottom?
Are they curly at the top?
Can you use them for a swatter?
Can you use them for a blotter?
Do your ears flip-flop?

Do your ears stick out?
Do they nearly reach your snout?
Can you squish them farther in?
Can you push them farther out?
Do they hang out there?
Just a floppin’ in the air?
Do your ears stick out?


Do your ears hang askew?
Can you use one stirring stew,
While the other’s picking berries,
Or making mountain dew?
Can you hold an elevator, while you signal to a waiter?
Do your ears hang askew?

Do your eyeballs droop?
Do they wobble in your soup?
Do they browse like a snoop?
Or hide behind a hoop?
Do they linger like a loop?
Or fall down when you stoop?
Do your eyeballs droop?

Do your eyes bug out?
Do they roll around your snout?
Do you go cross-eyed, when you’re looking for a trout?
Can you see your image clearer, without looking in the mirror?
Do your eyes bug out?

Does your nose hang down?
Does it drag upon the ground?
Does it come alert like a hound
Or bounce up at every sound?
Does it stick up like a mound?
Or is it barely found?
Does your nose hang down?